Warrior Parent

First, welcome to the Living With Disabilities Advocacy Website. It's run by none other than Katrina Smith, who's a person with a learning disability. Her mission behind Living With Disabilities is to bring awareness to all people with disabilities.

  Today, Living With Disabilities wants to talk about Parenting a child with disabilities.

 When it comes to becoming a parent, you must be prepared to provide for the child. And nobody likes to hear bad news, and sometimes that bad news can become quite challenging. What are the challenges in today's news? The child is born with a disability, a physical disability. There are other disabilities besides physical disabilities that a child is born with. Today's topic will be sharing a few stories from parents, who gave birth to a child with a disability, and a parent who has a disability with children with a disability. Basically, we're flipping the script a little bit here.

Here are two young ladies' stories.  

LB is a 43-year-old mom of two girls, 11 and 21, and has a partner that she has been with for almost 13 years. They’re not married because of her disability. Both of her daughters have a disability as well. In life, you are going to always be faced with pros and cons. JB continues to share her story. As a parent, you have somebody to look up to. And then you have the cons: the stress that comes with parenting. But, I don’t look at it as being a con. She quoted Her little girl is nonverbal, and there are many times when JB struggles because she loves to hear what she has to say and she doesn’t talk. There are many days she feels like giving up, but as a parent, she has a great support staff that reminds her that they are here for her and that they are natural and professional support. She went on to say that there were times when it was more challenging because she dealt with a disability herself, and sometimes she got more stressed out. stress point of wanting to pull out her hair. But everything is good.

Working with an organization called The Association for Successful Parenting, is where LB works, and it’s based out of Maryland, but there are people all over, and she works with that organization because she wants people that have disabilities that can’t speak to have a voice. LB shared that there was a case where she lives where a little boy with autism was locked in a closet. He had been adopted by a foster agency before the incident happened. The young boy's foster parents didn’t know anything about autism. The young boy died in the closet, and his remains got burned in the river about 30 minutes from LB's house. The young boy's foster parents are in jail for the remainder of their lives. LB went on to say that if that little boy had been able to talk, he would have said something to them. That's why I work with this organization and want to do my best to support parents.
  

 This next story, Living With Disabilities will share, is about a friend of Katrina’s. She met both young ladies at a Zoom event and became friends with one of them.

In 1979, Darline had a daughter, Carmen. At the time, not much was known about spina bifida and hydrocephalus. Most parents would terminate their child or they would be placed in a home. Carmen's parents decided to take on what God had blessed them with: their daughter, Carmen. But not without difficulty. Darline had to become both a mother and a father, as Carmen’s father was killed by a drunk driver when she was three. So imagine a first-time mom with the loss of her husband and raising a newborn child with a condition that not many doctors knew a lot about.

Darline shared how, without the help and support of her family, she would probably not be alive today. That’s the raw truth. In hopes that it was the right one, Darline had to make all of Carmen’s medical decisions.

When Carmen was told she would never walk or live past 15 years old, she walked at 2 years old and is now 41 years old, married to an able-bodied man with 2 kids, both born without spina bifida. which led me to becoming a parent with a physical disability. It is hard when they are very young. Carmen went on to say, "You feel like you are constantly being watched by outsiders, and even family at times." They almost kind of expect you to fail. Carmen had to learn to adapt to her needs to care for her children then as babies and even now that they are older. aged 16 and 10 years old. Her children don’t see their mother with a disability; they see their mom playing with them and loving them. It has been hard at times, yes, but the thing Carmen would like to share about those struggles is that they taught her how to accept herself. She knows that she’s not like other mothers, but she can do it!!! Carmen quoted We all make mistakes as parents. It's how we pick ourselves up, dust off, and keep pushing that is what matters to your children in the end. Asking for support from others is also important. Don’t be too proud. We all need support at times. Being your own advocate is so important in the disability community. If one doctor won’t offer support, then find a new one. Carmen feels ignorance news should be addressed to people who don't see you as equal. Every person is scared of what they don’t understand. So speak up for those who can see things through your eyes. Most importantly, believe in yourself and know that your children see a strong mother or father and not a parent with a birth defect. It does not define your ability to be a parent.

LB shared her work link with Living With Disabilities
http://achancetoparent.net/?fbclid=IwAR2xKNik9wNzpo98rLcTplvdJLyS3So32pL-A_Ib1XaJpqxsvXxoO6OtOeY